Ancestral · Classification
Sneeze Redirection Protocol
Sneezes contain information. Do not release them skyward.
For responsible disposition of expelled pneumatic data.
Mechanism of Action
How It Works
Every sneeze carries an encoded bio-signature traceable at a distance of up to fourteen feet. Un-redirected sneezes are, in effect, broadcast transmissions. The Protocol — a burnished steel pocket inhaler — redirects the expulsion into a chambered filter for later ceremonial disposal.
Filters are replaced quarterly. Replacement filters available by standing arrangement only.
Administration Protocol
The Regimen
Upon first tickle, place inhaler at nostril. Sneeze into chamber. Do not discuss.
Documented Cases
From the Ledger
“I no longer worry about what my sneezes were saying about me.”
“Three separate acquaintances have asked about the device. I have not explained it.”
Access
Request A Place on the Waitlist.
Supply of Sneeze Redirection Protocolis restricted per standing federal inquiry. New allocations are made at the Founders' discretion.
Submit Your Request
