Restricted · Classification
Bilateral Thumb Fatigue Balm
They say it does not exist. Your thumbs disagree.
The condition the AMA refuses to code.
Mechanism of Action
How It Works
Bilateral Thumb Fatigue is a documented but uncoded condition characterized by a chronic low-grade ache in both opposable digits, traced in the Harrow Archive to the invention of the thimble.
The Balm — a heavy apothecary-jar unguent of shea, clove, and finely-ground oyster shell — is applied nightly and absorbed through the radial border of the distal phalanx. Results compound over ninety days.
Administration Protocol
The Regimen
A pea-sized portion to each thumb, nightly. Do not apply after shellfish.
Documented Cases
From the Ledger
“I can once again hitchhike without hesitation.”
“My grip has returned. My acquaintances have noticed.”
Access
Request A Place on the Waitlist.
Supply of Bilateral Thumb Fatigue Balmis restricted per standing federal inquiry. New allocations are made at the Founders' discretion.
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