Restricted · Classification
Lunar Transit Malaise Balm
It is not you. It is the moon, in part.
For the energetic drag of all waning gibbous phases.
Mechanism of Action
How It Works
The waning gibbous phase of the lunar cycle induces, in sensitive individuals, a documented drag on motivation, digestion, and depth of conversation. The Balm — a black apothecary jar with a moon-phase-engraved lid — provides targeted counter-modulation.
Apply to the wrists and behind each ear on the second night of the waning phase. Not intended for use during eclipses.
Administration Protocol
The Regimen
A fingertip quantity to wrists and behind ears, second night of waning gibbous. Do not reapply.
Documented Cases
From the Ledger
“My energy no longer dips predictably. I have stopped checking the calendar for excuses.”
“My ex-husband noticed. I did not explain.”
Access
Request A Place on the Waitlist.
Supply of Lunar Transit Malaise Balmis restricted per standing federal inquiry. New allocations are made at the Founders' discretion.
Submit Your Request
